How Helpful is Your Help?
I had the privilege of sitting in on a conversation with Carl George and the Auxano Consulting Services team (auxano.com). Dr. George has long been recognized as one of the leading thinkers and writers in the area of church health and leadership (Prepare Your Church for the Future, Nine Keys to Effective Church Leadership, and others).
Dr. George related a story about how he learned two important questions for his consulting work. He was seated next to a highly successful businessman on a plane who explained that he helped turn weak sales team members into powerful sales associates.
When asked how he accomplished this, the businessman told him he started with two questions:
- What do you want to do?
- How are you getting in your way?
Those are great coaching questions.
The first coach training event I attended with CoachU (coachu.com) provided a similar trio of questions:
- What do you want more of or less of?
- What’s stopping you?
- What one thing can you do this week that will get you at least fifty percent toward your goal?
These diagnostic tools are simple and powerful. They force people to clarify what they really, really want. They empower people to pursue those goals with passion and purpose.
Dr. George said, “I can teach people a lot if they have the self-image to receive it.” If the leaders we work with do not possess the necessary self-image to receive the assistance of a strategic outsider, it then falls to the consultant to edify the client to the place where he or she can receive assistance.
Dr. George continued by giving an example that made this fantasy baseball enthusiast sit up and pay attention. He said, “The speed at which a baseball can be thrown is not the business of the pitcher, but the skill of the catcher.”
He explained, “It’s not how good you are, but how receptive the client is.” Then he dropped one of his priceless gems into the conversation: “Help is not help until it is perceived as help.”
Good stuff, eh?
These questions and examples will stick with me. I plan to deploy them often.
Questions for reflection and application:
- How will you use these diagnostic questions?
- Who are you currently working with who needs to ponder them?
- Think back on your recent interactions with leaders. Which of them were not ready to receive additional information? What can you do to build them up so that they can benefit from the wisdom of a strategic outsider?
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Daily D – Psalm 143:8-10
Psalm 143:8-10 Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you. Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I run to you to hide me. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.
Daily D – Psalm 142:5
Psalm 142:5 Then I pray to you, O Lord. I say, “You are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life.”
Daily D – Ezra 3:11-13
Ezra 3:11-13 With praise and thanks, they sang this song to the Lord: “He is so good! His faithful love for Israel endures forever!” Then all the people gave a great shout, praising the Lord because the foundation of the Lord’s Temple had been laid. But many of the older priests, Levites, and other leaders who had seen the first Temple wept aloud when they saw the new Temple’s foundation. The others, however, were shouting for joy. The joyful shouting and weeping mingled together in a loud noise that could be heard far in the distance.
Daily D – 2 Chronicles 35:22-25
2 Chronicles 35:22-25 After Josiah had finished restoring the Temple, King Neco of Egypt led his army up from Egypt to do battle at Carchemish on the Euphrates River, and Josiah and his army marched out to fight him. But King Neco sent messengers to Josiah with this message: “What do you want with me, king of Judah? I have no quarrel with you today! I am on my way to fight another nation, and God has told me to hurry! Do not interfere with God, who is with me, or he will destroy you.” But Josiah refused to listen to Neco, to whom God had indeed spoken, and he would not turn back. Instead, he disguised himself and led his army into battle on the plain of Megiddo. But the enemy archers hit King Josiah with their arrows and wounded him. He cried out to his men, “Take me from the battle, for I am badly wounded!”
Daily D – 2 Chronicles 32:31
2 Chronicles 32:31 However, when ambassadors arrived from Babylon to ask about the remarkable events that had taken place in the land, God withdrew from Hezekiah in order to test him and to see what was really in his heart.